Reader Question: How do I make the doctor less scary?

from "Mother Mother I Feel Sick Send for the Doctor Quick Quick Quick"

For the first time ever on the Babybug blog, we’ve got our resident child-raising expert Sally Nurss answering your questions. Read our interview with Sally here. Have a baby question for Sally? Ask right in the comments, post to Ask Babybug, or email us at babybug@caruspub.com.

My 19 month old daughter has developed a fear of going to the doctor. She screams and cries so much when the doctor tries to examine her that she has thrown up. Are there any books or activities that might help us have a better doctor’s office experience?
-Amanda J., Rockville, MD

Your daughter’s fear is not unusual for toddlers. At 19 months, she not only has the ability to recall past events, she also has a growing awareness that she’s a very small person in a very big world.

Your daughter’s fear is real and understandable, and you are wise to look for activities and reading as a way to help. Adults reflect about experiences by going over them in their minds. Toddlers can’t do that yet. They think by playing. Here are some play activities to use before, during, and after a doctor’s appointment.

Before the visit:

• Put together a toy doctor’s kit that includes a stethoscope, reflex hammer, toy syringe, and similar equipment.
• Pretend to examine a doll or stuffed animal with the tools. Then step back a bit and let her take over the play. Join in now and then, or offer suggestions to keep her interested.
• Make it possible to act out what really happens. If, for example, your daughter dislikes taking her clothes off for an examination, be sure her doll or teddy bear has an easily removable shirt so she can add this to the routine.
• Keep the doctor’s kit on a low shelf where she can see and reach it so that she can play as often as she likes.

During the visit:

• Take a favorite doll or stuffed animal along.
• Ask your doctor to listen to the doll’s heart and look in the doll’s ears, etc., before checking your daughter.  It’s a respectful way of letting a child know what comes next, and most doctors are happy to do this.

After the visit:

• It’s as helpful to play with the doctor’s kit after an appointment as it is before. Playing afterward gives your daughter a way of thinking about what she’s just experienced.

There are additional ways of easing a visit to the doctor: Tell her about the appointment ahead of time, but not too far ahead. Schedule the visit when you know your child won’t be tired or hungry. Plan to do something afterwards that she enjoys so that she associates going to the doctor with something that is fun.

During the visit, be aware that your daughter will be watching your actions and expressions to determine how she should feel, so try to look confident and relaxed—even though you might not be feeling that way. Give her reassuring physical contact throughout the exam. When she becomes fearful or cries, accept those very real emotions by describing with sympathetic words what she might be feeling. Assure her it won’t last long.

There are many children’s books on this topic, and some of them also offer suggestions for parents.

• Fred Rogers’ First Experiences books are still readily available, have clear photographs, and are as relevant and reliable as ever. Be sure to find a copy of Going to the Doctor.
• My Friend the Doctor by Joanna Cole is both honest and reassuring. It includes a page of tips for parents.
• Going to the Doctor by Anne Civardi has simple vocabulary and illustrations suited for very young children.

If your child is a fan of Elmo, Dora, Corduroy, Maisy, or the Berenstain Bears, they also have books about going to the doctor.

Editor’s note: If you’re feeling silly, one of our favorite books about doctors is Mother Mother I Feel Sick Send for the Doctor Quick Quick Quick by Remy Charlip and Burton Supree. It’s a wonderfully absurd, vintage book from the sixties that was re-released in 2001 by Tricycle Press.

February 18, 2011. Children's Books, Reader Questions.